Ellen DeGeneres | Here and Now

YOU GUYS. WATCH THIS. IT’S SIMPLE AND PERFECT AND HILARIOUS and trust me, you’ll love it.

I was JUST at 7-11, derpin around doing the whole “I’ll just awkwardly walk around this convenient store until a craving hits” but NOTHING HIT. So I’m all purchasing a toffee cappuccino and some fucking pasta salad thing because I couldn’t think up anything else. I get back to my room and then my body is like
FROSTEDDDDDDDDDDDD FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES.
Herp. De fuckin. Derp.
Craving hits at the WRONG. TIME. Fuck off, body. I don’t need you.

I was JUST at 7-11, derpin around doing the whole “I’ll just awkwardly walk around this convenient store until a craving hits” but NOTHING HIT. So I’m all purchasing a toffee cappuccino and some fucking pasta salad thing because I couldn’t think up anything else. I get back to my room and then my body is like

FROSTEDDDDDDDDDDDD FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES.

Herp. De fuckin. Derp.

Craving hits at the WRONG. TIME. Fuck off, body. I don’t need you.

Clean clean clean clean cleaning room

Being productive, throwin shit out, keepin it orderl— OH, HELLO OPI NAIL POLISH, CHARMINGLY NAMED “I’M NOT REALLY A WAITRESS”. Let me just slather you all over my hands.

That’s mah life.