guys help me with this list

what are the best albums to make out to?

annnnnnd, GO

Started my “What Makes Me Happy (that I don’t need anybody else for)” list, THANKS TO SARAH FOR THE IDEA.
Excuse my derpy crying face.
I’ll probably continue it, but I have 34 things on there already and figured I’d show my progress.
Hula hoops
Listening to Buddy Wakefield
Cheap movies
Dancing like a stripper
Lincoln Park Zoo
Pick Me Up Cafe
Bike riding in the rain
Handing out cupcakes
Spending the night watching Disney movies and eating Ben & Jerry’s
Doing character make up
Belting classic old school hip hop
Reading my piece “Baby”
Planning my Europe trip
Bubble baths
Taking off my bra
Making ugly clothes beautiful
Spending hours obsessing over Erik Satie
Making lists
Tim and Eric
Chicago Art Institue Museums
Picturing all of the blandest life scenarios happening to strangers
Anything Tina Fey/Liz Lemon related
Warm sand
and I just added one more to a new sheet of paper:
36. Spending time in the Twin Cities

Started my “What Makes Me Happy (that I don’t need anybody else for)” list, THANKS TO SARAH FOR THE IDEA.

Excuse my derpy crying face.

I’ll probably continue it, but I have 34 things on there already and figured I’d show my progress.

  1. Hula hoops
  2. Redecorating
  3. Listening to Buddy Wakefield
  4. Concerts
  5. Cheap movies
  6. Sex
  7. Cooking/baking
  8. Dancing like a stripper
  9. Crying
  10. Lincoln Park Zoo
  11. Pick Me Up Cafe
  12. Bike riding in the rain
  13. Picnics
  14. Yoga
  15. Handing out cupcakes
  16. Knitting
  17. Spending the night watching Disney movies and eating Ben & Jerry’s
  18. Doing character make up
  19. Belting classic old school hip hop
  20. Reading my piece “Baby”
  21. Planning my Europe trip
  22. Bubble baths
  23. Taking off my bra
  24. Making ugly clothes beautiful
  25. Spending hours obsessing over Erik Satie
  26. Making lists
  27. Tim and Eric
  28. Chicago Art Institue Museums
  29. Picturing all of the blandest life scenarios happening to strangers
  30. Sherlock
  31. Anything Tina Fey/Liz Lemon related
  32. Warm sand
  33. Reading
  34. Tarot

and I just added one more to a new sheet of paper:

36. Spending time in the Twin Cities


I have a terrible vibrator.

I need a new vibrator.

I dont’ like the way most companies try to advertise their vibrators.



What is an excellent, quality, but still affordable vibrator? From lady to lady? I’m gifting myself a new one on Valentine’s Day to myself since I am such a good lover to me. So I want something quality.

So please help me out here, because the one I have now is a piece of TRASH.

So whadya think?



True facts: I just googled “sexualized yogurt”.
This picture was a result of that search.

True facts: I just googled “sexualized yogurt”.

This picture was a result of that search.

I want to have really powerful, intense sex…in slow motion.

(this may get graphic, children)

I want to feel every bit of what it is to love somebodies body.

Because that’s what it is.

Without fail, sex is always a form of love.

Yes. It is.
Because surely we all know damn well enough, love isn’t always a pleasant, kind hearted thing.
I want to feel every hair on my arm cling to a sliding finger.
Feel the giggle-esque nervousness of my skin.
And I want to slow down the “I want you” inhale-exhale sequence to the point where I’m being inflated. And then burst.
I want to see the muscles flex the way they did in the health and science videos, every vein exposed.
And I want the sweat to fall like tiring rain on a window pane.
And I want every grasp and cling to go the speed of the way you first press your hand down into memory foam; real slow like, just to be able to watch it push back.
I want to watch our bodies push back.
And pull.
I want to pay attention to every pause and why it’s there.
I want the speed, the depth, the intensity; but I want enough time to focus and catch that one face that’s just passionate enough to scare the living shit out of you.
That you go to bed thinking about.
The face when everything was truly one, and no matter the situation or circumstance, that one face is telling you
"I fucking love you right now."
For a split second. It’ll be there.
And I want it.
Even the look with the eyes tightly shut. But you. You still know every thought in their head.
"Yes. Yes. Yes. I fucking love this. Thank you."
Sex is always a thank you. And it is always out of mad, crazy love for something.


it’s amazing what a shower can do for your mind. moving forward. i actually really want to search kleenex right now.

also, i have handcuff bruises and dents on my wrists. do you want to know why?

because my boyfriend fucked me while i was only wearing seven inch tall stripper heels and my hands were cuffed, above my head, hanging from the towel rack glued to my door.

it says i’m single on facebook right now, but i don’t care what happens in the next six to nine months, i’m positive that i’ll still love that motherfucker and we’ll do that again and it will be AWESOME because he is the GREATEST and we LOVE EACH OTHER and i just wanted you all to know a little bit about our super rad sex life. super rad. sorry for all the text posts. i’m in a weird mood. sex life. super rad. kleenex and handcuffs. i had to much candy.

This is the first thing in a long time that I don’t think I can tell my mother about. But I have no problem telling the internet. Funny how that works. I don’t know what she’d think. Sometimes I’m convinced that she’d be intrigued and would ask questions and smile and nod, like she did when I told her that I was bisexual, and she’d say things like,

"I’m happy for you, I’m glad you’re finding yourself! This is your journey!"

But then I know that in this situation, that wouldn’t be the case. It’s a weird thing to “congratulate”. She’d love me none the less, but still. I don’t even know how one brings this sort of thing to the table. There’s no conversation starter for this. There’s no way to make it sound good. Really.

"Mom, I just want to let you know that if you spot a bruise on me, chances are I want it there. So don’t worry, mommy! I enjoy extremely physical, overwhelmingly rough sex!"

Or should I start with ‘Dear Mom’?

just asked boy if he’d still fuck me if i had a dinosaur poster hung up next to my bed.

which sparked some kind of sexy talking.


i was just trying to decide which poster to buy.

This has been my evening.

That awkward moment when you search “sex bruise” on Google Images and a picture of Chris Browns damage on Rihanna’s face shows up.


I’m sitting on vacation eating homemade sushi, drinking organic root beer, listening to whatever I can and having flashes of the game I was just playing on my mom’s iPad snap onto the hot pursuit screen of my laptop every now and then. Privileged, one would say.
I sit here trendily, being freshly tan, scantly dressed without makeup and looking what most boys have labeled as “my best”. Yet all I can sit and think is:
What’s she got that I don’t?
The more I think about it, all she’s got is the heart of a boy who’s mind is on me who I shouldn’t be bothering my time with.
And I realize that, up next to me?
I’ve got some things she don’t.
That I don’t care if nobody else see’s but me.
Because I’ve got my body.
And I have a hip toss that can’t be beat.
And I have, no lies, one hell of an ass.
Beyond that.
I’ve got some recipes up my sleeve that would make a smart boy propose in a heartbeat.
I have a still mind and a steady heart that jump at the opportunity to dance when something excites them. But only to their favorite songs, because my tummy teaches them better than to get ahead of themselves.
I’ve got dusted antiques of memories that I’m teaching myself to stop using against you.
And I’ve got blue eyes. That change to green. And yellow. And red and brown and black. But when they’re blue, they are blue blue blue.
And I’ve got these legs. That are solid. That are like thunder. That are like flowers. That are like pikes that stab into your throat when you don’t listen well enough to my appetite.
Because I’ve got the capability of speaking goofy. And sexy. And dorky and homely and sassy and seriously.
I can be so serious.
And I have the ability to take a joke.
I have a onesie.
With monkey’s on the feet.
I don’t think she has one of those.
I’ve got my brain in my head and insanity in a jar. Because that’s something worth holding on to when you’re driving the bandwagon of best friends down the road of redemption to make the worst best decision to do something like…
Go skinny dipping. In a public lake. With a fresh piercing and rum in your stomach and a brand new heartbreak.
Insanity. In a jar. In my pocket. In my journal. At the tip of my tongue.
But I was also taught how to keep it particularly classy.
I still have my teddy that used to join me for tea parties.
I was told once that I had curves like Monroe. Like a classic, when I lie on my side. Naked.
I’d like to keep that one.
I’m really good at saving money when I grocery shop, that I know.
I understand appropriateness and circumstance and timing and when one should beat around the bush.
I have this incredible ability to satisfy somebody in their. Crevasse. In their. Creeks. With. Tingles. And. Gestures. And a lot of pounding and noises that, alone, are meant for horror films.
I also have an extreme comfort with the beauty of the blunt.
And I am one of few kids my age that may be fully in tune with their sexuality.
And I’m really good a gauging other people’s.
And there’s no doubt in my mind that I can make almost anybody feel at least good.
I have no fear there.
I love my fear of the darkness that lingers behind me in hallways. And I welcome the wanting to vomit as it clings to my shoulders and wraps around my waist, sucking on my tip toes.
I have old, vintage combat boots with not too long of a story.
No way she has the same story.
I have got this selection of friends. They never talk behind my back. And don’t go picking up my old trash. And no matter how lazy I get, they stay.
I understand the need to be lazy.
But have the capability to get things moving.
I adjust really well.
I’ve got a steady passion with a budding plan and outline, being backed up by an incredible institution that may very well be the jumping off point of my entire career, in a city that treats me like the fucking goddess I was born to be.
I have a city that tears at my skin every morning, waking me up mentally so that I don’t get lost in my reflection in the window and pay attention to how depressingly fucking real the state of our society is.
In the state of Illinois, in the city of Chicago, I’ve got a house and a home and a sense of direction in the grittiest place in the world; hard working, real aesthetics, architecturally sounding with a fucking boom in my bedroom. I’ve got Chicago. Over and over again, I’ve got Chicago. With the stripper heels he bought me and the condom she poked to destroy me and saliva on my lips, lookin a bit more like Poison Ivy. In Chicago, with my boots and a see through brasier, ratting my hair in a way that makes them think that the other side of the street may be a better option.
I’ve got Chicago. And I’ve got a self righteous attitude and an overwhelming appreciation for the art institute, but a lacking of patience to completely walk through. I’ve got bums and slick suits and watered coffee that’s not an Americano, just really shitty. And a building grid that glimmers with teamwork, just like the showed us in kindergarten.
I’ve got a city full of people who understand hard work and effort and dynamics and time and sex and… smiling.
I’ve got a city that smiles at me.
I’ve also got this love for 7-11, no matter how stressing our economic crisis is.
I mean, really. Have you tasted the iced mochas?
I hate the idea of a place like Starbucks, but the sound of a Caffe Latte coughing up cinnamon in its foamy rim is so mouthwatering that I give in sometimes.
I pay attention to the news but don’t let it ruin me.
I hate my legs and my accent and the garbage on the street and the silent lack of direction in my life and my shitty cell service and that I’m actually such a prude when it comes to choosing the people I fuck, but I have an unhealthy addiction to paradoxes.
I have time.
And the ability to let go of something that I know, without a doubt, may be one of the best things that may ever happened to us.
I’ve got no shame in admitting that.
But I am also, above all that I am or have, an emotional genius.
And I have emotions.
And, believe it or not, so do you.
Instead of throwing punches for my defenses, I have kindness in my blood that transfers throughout my entire body, that will give up on working towards your happiness when you think the time is right.
I’ve got ears, you give the word.
And just in case, I’ve got some giggles stored in my trapper keeper and a peanut gallery in support of me for when you realize that this may have been a huge mistake.
Coming up second to my geniosity (followed closely for my talent in linguistics, obviously), is my strength. Strength in persistence and love and moving on and in my legs and heart and mind and maybe a little in my upper body and in decisiveness and also in my blow jobs.
I am strong and will not let you fuck me when you come visit me next.
Strong like the iron bars on my bed that you won’t get to grip.
And I am strong, and will let my heart keep pumping the imprint of your real smile and shivered muscles when you stretch as long as it wants.
I’ve got a real strong memory of making him really fucking happy. Terrifyingly.
I’ve got enough strength left in my voice box to tell you exactly what is what, but I’m going to use that strength instead to find another boy to make me come.
I’ve got the strength to lead this writing back to focusing on me instead of something else.
Because I’ve got a sense of direction.
And I had this dog. She passed recently. And she loved me better than anybody else ever could, teaching me that worrying about who will ever care enough and whether I’ll be good enough and what I do and don’t have shouldn’t ever even matter.
Because all you need is likeness.
Mutual likeness.
No glitter and fairy dust and wedding bands and lack of air supply.
A smile and a snuggle.
Rationality. I’ve got a lot of it.
So much to realize that we’re young, and to be looking for forever after right now is a lost cause, like scavenging the dictionary for the word you just made up. 
Lots of paper cuts.
And we’re young, so go fucking eat something greasy, because you might not be able to when you’re 35.

I’ve got a boy. It may not be one to hold hands with or your God or a child. I’m not even referencing my dad.I’ve got a boy in me that spits out from mud puddles and fart jokes and old boxers and video games. Even though I’m really bad at them.
And I’ve got a fun attitude and several senses of humor and a good grasp on non-irritating sarcasm.
I’ve got incredible sex appeal. But you’ll only know that if I find you worthy.
I’m good at mischief.
I’ve got a really epic, forever spanning, open music collection. I guarantee you’ll find something that you like.
I’ve got this one sweater, dude. Jesus. Smells like dirt and looks like vomit. And I wear it EVERYWHERE.
I got and get and had compliments.

And I got a smile on my face.
Right now.

I got excited.
And then stopped to think.
Because having Hip Hop tracks hump my ear drums kind of does that while I type.
She’s got a lot, too.
And some of my gots, she might not want.
And maybe there are things she had and decided to toss in the trash.
I’m sure she gets compliments and loves her legs.
He likes them, too.
And I’m happy for her.
I am.
I get what I got, she can have hers.
Everybody can go die for the sake of missing each other, avoiding the beauty of existence that is crying for their attention, shimmering over waters and tingling in their panties; the availability of living on without making each other so damn miserable. Because there’s so much more out there than Disney movies. Stop killing romance.

In the mean while, what I will always have is the calm understanding that this. What I have now and what will fall from my stack and climb to the top in a week, will always be good enough. And I should stop looking. I hope she knows that, too.

There’s one thing I lack. And that’s a particularly competitive side. Except with certain games and cooking.
I wouldn’t say anybody won. We all just lose sight sometimes of the things that are true trophies.
(I have an undying appreciation for Hallmark cards. I take pride in that.)
I’ve got a lasting appreciation for women, which is why I’d never really compare her to me in the first place.
We’ve both got our things that make us worthy and lovely.
Besides. I’ve got coloring books and some boys asking to kiss me and a lot of time that I dare not waste.
There is way too much of just enough on my plate.
Why bother.

i just looked at a clock that said 11:11, stopped for a minute, thought for a wish, but the only thing that came out was:
I’m going to do incredibly.
Pretty sure I’m okay.

Making Anna teh uncomfortablez with my candyfied blowjob impressions.

Making Anna teh uncomfortablez with my candyfied blowjob impressions.